Thursday, February 28, 2013


Some more 1up moments

Bubble Bobble This was truly was one of the first multiplayer games I ever put all effort into. I had so so two player games like Double Dragon and Contra, but almost nothing caused more dedication out of me and Maximum Bannen than Bubble Bobble. Nine hours may be chicken feed to gamers now but in the hay day of consoles nine hours was an eternity. NO ability to save. NO ability to save to memory card or harddrive. You had to play that bitch (together no less) for that whole time or quit and restart. And Restarting was not an option after 5 hours of that fricking green and blue nightmare. A good nightmare that bonded two people for ever. I do not think that me and Bannen would be such close friends if not for Bubble Bobble. Mind you also Oj simpson was on the run in his bronco when we were on our seventh hour of that game. We only blastered our faces to the oj box for maybe 10 minutes. While I said who the hell is OJ simpson? And Bannen Responded He is that guy in the Naked Gun movie... OHHHHH. Then after some well deserved Dairy Queen Ice cream we defeated this dastardly long game. Defeated during one of the biggest spectacles of our time and during a completely ignored Bannen family outing we stuck to our guns and defeated the Bobble. UPDATE: I was wrong about the no save. There was a password feature but the game took three weeks to beat not 9 hours.
Oj who?

Toe Jam and EarlNow I thought that Bubble Bobble was as beast. Toe Jam and Earl was a equally daunting beast. Even now whether you choose the random or normal maps that thing was a time cruncher. A rediculusly fun time cruncher. For the fallen Genesis sytem (that I bought just at the end). With Santa Claus, The Carrot wizard, Fat Lady, that bastard Boogey Man, that fat lawn mower dude, and many other wonders. Cool fart jokes and dialog between the two characters. Bad ass items like tomato sling shot (awesome against the chicken army) and the Icarus wings (new Kid Icarus game anyone?). The sequel was complete side scrolling garbage. The over head thing was what made that game awesome. That newer modern one with the girl was ok, but sure as hell did not capture the feel of that first allaluhya at life gain moment. Also another game that me and Bannen once again ignored family all together event.
Earl did you fart?

Hit Man 2,3 First off anyone who did not like these games because they were to easy because you were able to run through blowing everyone away without any problem Fuck You. Really eat my shit than shit and eat it again. The game was about being a Hitman not a mass murderer. Yes even when I got pissed at a level or two I went nuts and killed every man woman and child (Chinese Hercules anyone?), but I went back and perfected my silent skills. I am quite a dork, but I am proud that I got through Hitman 2 at 95% Silent Assasin and Completely 100 percent Silent Assassin on HItman 3. I spent nine hours watching, moving, breathing, being friends, making love, to every character on that first mansion level on 2. I knew when the characters came through the doors. I knew what they ate. I knew what videos they rented. I was a goddamn super assasin (with a buisness suit and bald barcoded head go figure). I still have people asking me how to get Silent Assasin on the Professional esc last level of Hitman 3. Which if anyone needs to know just ask and I will lay it out here. One of the best moments is in Two, which Maximum Bannen had before me, and I came over to check this game out, and me and Bannen worked togther. We moved like ninjas to a water tower and readied ourselves. I ninjad the way there and handed the Rifle to Bannen. We watched two officials drive up in cars and waited. We knew that we could plant a bomb on one car from the sewers, but the other was no where near a man hole(props because that would have been obvious). So we knew on guy would run after the first hit but which one? We coached each other through this dastardly snow Russian level to assasinate two digliteries (spell?) I watched Bannen ease the trigger back, from the top of our water tower, patroled by ignorant fur coated guards, and heard one bullet ring out. The rifle flew back and me and Bannen paniced thinking that the other guy probably ran in our wierd rifle backlash. But no cars drove away. NO explosions. Just guards spinning in circles. Me and Bannen, in our curiosity needed to know what happened. So we approached the center. With out getting to close and removed our binoculars to find out what happened. Lying face down Spayed on each other were both our targets. Bannen in his bouncey rifle fire ripped a 7.62 mm Bullet through both their bodies. The chance of that happening again was nill to none. I know I bought the game months late to go through at silent assassin and could not copy the feat. We cheered quitely and moved out of sight of the now retarded spinning guards.
Hitman three was incredible. I loved every inch of this game. The differant levels in differant locals were equally awesome. The BUtcher level in Hitman 3, just visually cool and extremely difficult to get silent Assassin. But I did it. The awesome party with the Russian and the waiter outfits equally cool. I could write about these games all day long. The creepy jirating guy in the butcher shop that you so want to kill but if you do that screws up your silent assassin (Bannen had to kill him, which is rightfully so). The Airport in Two with the fat gut eating chips. I stuck a fireman's axe in that fat boy's head and knocked his body into his computer monitor. If I screw up which level was in which game that is because they were very similar, which wht mess with a good thing. The ability to switch from first person to Third person brilliant. The only thing I did not like is that My 100 percent ended up regurgitating the same prize weapondry. I guess they did not expect anyone to go throught the whole game on that. Legendary on Halo, blow me try Silent Assassin on Hitman 3. I estimated that it is either impossible or near impossible to get 100 percent on two because there is a level with a cross walk that you must shoot a window to get to. If you are lucky enough to not attract guards your shot still counts as a shot fired which lowers your silent assassin and good luck on crossing that bridge and not kill any guards. I cannot wait for Four if it is as good as the others. I would hope that they gave new levels, pumped up the graphics, and as long as the regular game is solid maybe add a online type feature. Maybe a spy versus spy type thing who gets the hit first or a multiplayer thing like Splinter Cell Chaos. Or atleast a updatable system with new maps and equipment. Perhaps a custimizable actor instead of baldy. But if they still just made a simple new level sequeal I would be happy just fine.
Yeah that's right two guys one bullet

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