Stuff from an old blog I wrote that I like. Many more to follow
Gamera truly is Godzilla's retarded little brother.
Specially challenged in every way. Don't get me wrong, Gamera rules. In the way that he sucks that he's cool. Kindof like Gary Coleman. Those two are kind of similar except Gary doesn't look like a turtle very much. Well anyways, Gamera also seems to be connected to children on an emotional level. Perhaps because his small turtle brain can only sympathize with other small brains. Gamera average brain weight comes in at 2 ounces. Now for a turtle of that size and age (perhaps 10 thousand years old?) he is pretty dumb. He is similar to the early green Hulk, in that he shows up and another monster shows up or vice versa and then they smash things. There may even be a possibility that Gamera is actually working with the other monsters to destroy Japan. Just one of my theories. However that would argue that Gamera has a larger brain. That brings me to one of Gamera's "abilities", FLIGHT. For Gamera to fly he needs to retract his arms and legs into his shell, than at this point searing horrible flames shoot out causing Gamera to burst into flight. He even can access other planetary systems. This seems horrible since Gamera would have to constantly aminister burn cream to his scorched limbs. Smart? I say no.
Gamera insists on being around annoying little children in red shorts. Is there a requirement for little Japanese boys to wear tiny red bicycle shorts? Than they love to sing Gamera's theme song. Perhaps you would like to slap on little red bicycle shorts and sing? Here yah go.